Fatgirl slim

 Firstly i’m sorry for not being a good buddy over the past few weeks.  I’ve not been on here too much over the last couple of weeks.  I hit my major hurdle - I’d lost routine - both my exercise and my eating.  The crap was creeping back in everyday in bigger and bigger portions and i’d regressed to my old eating habits.  I didn’t want to blog about it, I didn’t want to write it down because then i’d have to see it in black and white and acknowlege it.  And I certainly didn’t want anyone commenting on it.  I’d come on here and feel I didn’t fit in, even as part of my challenge team (sorry guys).  But I realised that it wasn’t what anyone else was doing or wasn’t doing, it was what I wasn’t doing.  I wanted someone to hold my hand through what was going on - but if I didn’t tell people how would they know I wanted the support.  And if they didn’t know it they certainly couldn’t offer it.

 So I had a choice - carry on as I was going back on the fat road or accept what I had been doing as going against where I want to be and get myself back on the path.  I kept telling myself I was going the wrong way, but carried on down that road anyway - my brain choosing the ‘comfort’ of the fat foods over the reality of being slimmer.  Until today - I woke up had breakfast, then lunch time came and I suddenly found I wanted to take the healthy option.  And added to this came the water intake.  Everything has dropped back into place.

I know one of the other buddies talked about getting it right 75% of the time.  I’ve found that being completely strict doesn’t work and I have to allow myself those otherwise ‘forbidden’ foods to keep myself on track 75% of the time.  Usually these fit into my daily calorie intake and I can adjust my eating as needed.  So when I hit the next major hurdle - I know I have the same choices, and if I start going in the wrong direction I know I can turn myself around again - when I am ready to make that u-turn.

 Since I started trying to lose weight originally in about 2005 (I have see-sawed several times) I have lost 2.5 stone / 35 lbs.  So I have evidence than I am more than capable of doing this.  I wanted to be 21lbs lighter than I am before I go back to school next week - but I am 35lbs lighter than when I started school in the first place - the next 21lbs will come off in their own time.

 I have a couple of weeks to work out routines for my food and exercise before my placement begins - time to work out when  to shop, when to prepare my food to make sure I stay on the road most of the time, when and how to exercise and more importantly time to check in with myself to make sure I am where I need to be.